


Love Drunk (Re-write)

by olympvs



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fade to black sex, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Rewrite, SteveTonyFest, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, but mostly it's just absolutely ridiculous, it's a tiny bit of pining, this is just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-05-05 05:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14610147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olympvs/pseuds/olympvs
Summary: Tony gets hit with a magical spell that makes him act drunk. What follows is not quite what Steve imagined.-“This is ridiculous,” Steve said, hand coming up to tug at his collar before thinking better of it and letting it fall to his side.Tony looked sidelong at Steve, tilting his head in Steve’s direction. “Oh come on,” he said, tone amused but eyes tight. “You should be enjoying this. After all, it’s a party in honor of your loving relationship.”





	Love Drunk (Re-write)

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy, this is really something. So back in 2014, I participated in SteveTonyFest and wrote my first-ever fanfiction. While I didn't get around to posting much else, I remained loosely active in the fandom and recently found myself back in full swing of wanting to contribute creatively to the ship that has given me so much. 
> 
> After some prodding from friends (looking at you @WindedDreams and @enkiduu) I took a look at this fic again, and decided to do a re-write. The plot is still absurd, and this is still nothing but fluff, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. 
> 
> (Not much has really changed besides cleaning up the writing, but if you'd like to look at the original, you can find it [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2766218))

It had been an accident.

The Avengers were out on what should’ve been a simple mission, some sorcerer-or-other stirring up trouble in Manhattan. Wherever the guy went he left a wake of half-mad people clutching at each a frenzy. He didn’t seem to be causing a lot of damage to the actual civilians; their madness was merely a byproduct of his presence. Instead he had focused on robbing three banks in the span of an hour, simply by using his “enchanting” powers to slip by all security. (“Yeah, that’s enchanting alright,” Tony had quipped upon seeing the newsfeed of people swaying merrily in the street, yelling loudly and falling into one another).

Someone in all the chaos had managed to alert the police, and without the proper tech to dispose of the sorcerer, the Avengers had been brought on call.

“Don’t get too close to him!” Steve yelled into the comm. “He’s got some ability to mess with people’s heads.”

Clint smirked. “I don’t think it’s just their hea—OW, Nat!”

“Natasha, can you go round up the civilians from the bank?” Steve said, cutting through their bickering. “Clint, first and foremost we need to secure the stolen money. Then we’ll tackle the guy himself.”

“Got it,” Natasha confirmed.

Steve watched as an arrow flew from the sky, striking the sorcerer’s hand. It forced the man to drop his duffel bag filled with money, but the injury didn’t seem to phase him otherwise. He pulled the arrow out without a second thought, waving a glowing purple hand over the wound to make it close. 

“He’s also got accelerated healing,” Steve said, annoyance laced through his tone. “We’ve just got to hit him hard enough to stop him from using his abilities.”

“Cap,” Natasha’s voice rang in, “I’m over at the most recent bank he hit. It seems like everyone here is drunk, incapacitated, or coming out of a bad hangover.”

Clint snorted. “What, do we have some sort of Dionysus wandering around?”

“Perfect,” Tony said. “He’s just my kind of guy. Hey, you think he’d let us hire him for a party? It’d give him a job and everything, no bank robbery required.” Even with his voice modulated by the faceplate, it was easy to hear the grin in Tony’s voice.

“Careful Tony,” Steve warned. “We need everyone to be focused here.”

“Relax,” Tony replied, firing off a repulsor blast when the sorcerer came into view. The guy deflected it with a blast of purple before returning fire, shooting wildly into the sky. Tony neatly dodged, the Iron Man suit glinting in the sunlight. “What’s the plan, Cap?”

“Like I said, a solid hit should be enough to stun him, at least long enough for us to properly subdue him.”

“Uh Cap,” Clint cut in, “Didn’t we tell the Five-O to stay out of this?” 

“What are you – oh for God’s sake.” Steve watched as a squadron of NYPD officers pulled up a street to form a barricade, barreling out of their cars to point their guns at the sorcerer. 

“That’s not going to slow him down,” Tony muttered, and sure enough with a simple blast of purple the officers were no longer upright. They immediately began stumbling into one another, giddy smiles on their faces and waving their guns uselessly in the air.

Clint made a frustrated noise. “Yeah, no, not gonna get a good shot on him from where I’m at. Can’t tell where’s he’s heading toward either. My money’s on a getaway car somewhere.”

Steve looked around, noting a low rooftop nearby that would give him the perfect angle to take out the guy.

“Iron Man, can I get a lift?” he asked, gesturing.

“Sure thing, Cap,” Tony said. Steve cocked an eyebrow at Tony, noting the excessive amount of glee in his voice.

“Tony—” he warned.

Suddenly Tony came swooping down, knocking Steve’s legs out from underneath him and carrying him bridal-style before gently depositing him on the rooftop.

Steve very determinedly did not make an undignified sound, but he did grunt upon landing.

“Cute,” he said, voice flat. 

Tony looped around to face Steve, hovering in the air. “Aw come on, I think you make a fetching---” His remark was cut off as suddenly the suit was illuminated in a sphere of purple.

“Tony!” Steve cried out, stretching a hand forward instinctively before snapping it back.  
In a moment the light was gone, and the suit collapsed onto the roof, for all the world like a lifeless doll.

“Damn, what happened?” Clint’s voice was urgent in his ear.

“Tony’s hit, I don’t know how much of it got to him through the suit,” Steve grit out, rushing towards the figure. He flipped the suit over and found the emergency latches on either side of the faceplate, tearing it off before pressing two fingers to Tony’s pulse point, heart hammering in his chest. When he felt a steady beat thudding under his fingers he sighed in relief, though Tony’s eyes remained closed.

Steve stood up rapidly, finger on his comm. “He’s fine. Knocked out, but fine. Clint, I lost sight of our guy, do you—” he stopped just as he caught sight of a familiar sorcerer disappearing around a corner. In an instant the shield was out and slicing through the air, angling off a building wall to hit its target dead on. Steve saw the man crumple, and a moment later a figure in black and purple landed on an adjacent rooftop. Clint fired an arrow down and Steve watched as the tip blew off in midair, a net coming out to cover the still body.

“You got him in the head Cap, he’s out cold. Doesn’t look like he’s bleeding too much though so can’t be too serious. Nat, can you come help me out with this guy?”

“On my way.”

Steve tuned out anything else the two might have been saying as he heard groaning from behind him. He turned to see Tony sitting up, removing his entire helmet. He looked up at Steve, wide eyes blinking slowly.

“Did you know you have a beautiful face?”

Steve blinked. When it seemed like Tony wasn’t going to elaborate, Steve’s mouth dropped open. “I… what?” was all Steve could manage in response.

“Your face, it’s got this kind of…beauty.” Steve eyed the unsteady hand Tony waved towards him. “I mean, there’s the blue eyes and the ridiculously tight shirts you wear that hide nothing at all, of course. But your face is just nice to look at. I’m sure it’s the symmetry you have going on; scientifically you know, it’s proven that we find more symmetrical faces attractive, and not that you need the symmetry to be attractive, because again, wow, but –”

“Tony, Tony.” Steve repeated, kneeling on the ground next to him, nearly placing a finger on his lips just to get the other man to stop talking. Steve’s mind was whirling; somewhere he logically knew that Tony was just under some kind of spell, and by all accounts everything he said should be disregarded. And yet to hear Tony not only noticing him, but admiring him – well Steve was only human, and he couldn’t be blamed for being thrown off guard when his crush said such things. 

Tony had stopped talking, but was staring at Steve with such an intensity that Steve worried the spell had rattled something in his brain. Before he could ask, Tony was reaching a hand up, slowly, hovering just before Steve’s face. 

“Did the serum enhance _everything_?” he asked, voice wondrous. “It should be impossible for someone’s eyes to be that blue naturally.” 

“Yep, ok, we’re taking you back to Stark Towers until we figure this out.” Steve put an arm around Tony’s waist, hauling him up so that Tony was standing – or rather, swaying -- with one arm draped across Cap’s shoulders.

Steve put a finger to the comm again. “Clint, can you get the helicarrier to come pick us up? I can’t safely jump down from the rooftop without possibly injuring Tony, and he’s not exactly in a state to get us off.”

Tony grinned, leaning his face in right next to Steve’s. “’M always in a good place to get you off, Cap. I can show you just how good if—” Steve abruptly threw a hand over Tony’s mouth, his face flushing.

“Is he drunk?” Clint said, audibly laughing.

Steve’s mouth was set in a firm line. “Or something close to it.”

“Steve,” Tony said, looking at him seriously, eyes wide. He poked Steve in the shoulder with the hand still draped across his back. “Steve, I need a cheeseburger.”

“What you need is for us to get you somewhere safe until SHIELD can determine if this is temporary or not.”

“I think that sounds like a horrible idea. SHIELD doesn’t ever know what they’re doing, and a cheeseburger is much more of a priority than letting their so-called medics jab me with needles.”

In the end, by the time the helicarrier had gotten to them Steve had relented to let Tony get a cheeseburger on the condition that they would leave right after, and head straight for SHIELD’s medical bay. He should’ve known it wouldn’t be that simple.

They waited inside the burger joint for Tony’s order, Steve’s foot tapping impatiently. The longer it went, the more nonsensical Tony became. His thoughts flitted between topics so quickly Steve could barely keep up, and every so often when he spoke Steve would see a flash of purple in his eyes.

When they finally had the burger Tony immediately plopped down at a nearby table, closing his eyes in delight when he bit into it. Steve’s protest about leaving immediately died in his throat with the honestly obscene noises Tony was making. 

“This might be the best thing to ever happen to me,” Tony said in between bites, mouth full of burger. Steve hummed noncommittally, deciding that it wasn’t worth the fight to get Tony to go right then.

“Seriously I think I’m in love with this burger.” Suddenly he stopped, staring at the sandwich in his hands before slowly lowering it to the plate.

“Steve,” he said, his voice urgent. He was doing that unsettling ‘stare into your soul’ thing again. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Steve almost started choking on air. As it was, his face flushed a brilliant red and he stammered on words.

“Mmm,” Tony sighed affectionately. “See, even blushing looks good on you. Really accents that pale skin.” Steve turned a deeper shade of crimson as Tony’s eyes wandered down from his face to travel across his chest, only stopping where the table shielded the rest of Steve from view.

“Time to leave,” Steve said, words harried and choked. He tugged Tony to stand up, half-eaten burger left forgotten on the plate. Tony had gotten up willingly, now gripping onto Steve with one hand on his forearm and the other on his hip.

“Beautiful,” he murmured, before surging up to make his lips meet Steve’s. The surprised noise Steve made was lost against Tony’s insistent mouth. For a moment, it was all Steve could do to close his eyes, to lean into the kiss a little bit and tighten his grip on Tony’s arm. He was about to part his lips, to revel in the warmth that was Tony pressing up against him, when the sound of a camera shutter going off jolted him to realization.

He jerked back from Tony abruptly, so quickly that Tony stumbled forward, requiring Steve to put a hand on his waist just to steady him. Steve whipped his head around, looking at the shocked patrons of the burger joint, more than a few of whom had cell phones in their hands, clearly having taken pictures of two of the world’s most famous superheroes kissing.

“And now it’s definitely time to leave,” Steve muttered, half dragging Tony along behind him. He all but ran into the SHIELD car waiting for them, pulling Tony inside with him.

Tony was blinking, shaking his head back and forth slowly as though trying to dislodge water from his ear. He looked at Steve, a befuddled expression on his face.

“Was that… was something wrong?” His tone wasn’t worried so much as confused. Steve could see purple sparking through his eyes every couple of seconds and it made his stomach churn.

Steve let out a long breath he didn’t know he had been holding. “Just… just rest Tony, we’ll be back soon.”

*

Steve stood outside the examination room, looking at Tony through the glass. There was a hard set to his jaw and his arms were crossed defensively over his chest. Fury was beside him, giving Steve an impressive glare, but it no longer rattled him like it used to.

“And then you let him kiss you,” Fury said, voice flat.

“‘Let’ isn’t exactly the word I’d use. He—he caught me off guard, is all.”

“Oh is it? That’s all? No problem then about how currently the internet is exploding with pictures of the two of you?”

Steve grit his teeth. “We’ll figure it out.” He jerked his chin towards Tony, who was currently swatting at medics in annoyance. He certainly seemed to be returning to his normal self. 

“You'd better,” Fury muttered.

“Have we found out if it’s permanent yet?”

Fury eyed Stark through the window as well. “We don’t think so. The other people affected by this guy seemed to shake off the symptoms fairly quickly. It’s just as though they drank a lot, and need some time to come out of it.”

“Right, Natasha mentioned something about people with hangovers.”

Fury nodded. “We have no reason to believe Stark’ll be any different. The effects seemed to be stronger and longer lasting because he was hit directly, but put him to bed and by tomorrow morning he should be back to normal.”

Steve was in the middle of nodding when Fury jabbed a finger in his direction. “And when he is, you two better fix this.”

Steve bit back his retort, simply letting Fury walk away. He thought back to that instant when all he wanted in the world was to give in, how surprisingly soft Tony’s lips felt on his, how he—no. No, Tony had been acting under the influence of some kind of magic. It wasn’t right of Steve to read into that any more than the circumstances at hand.

Never mind the fact that over the past year, Steve had developed a massive and honestly embarrassing crush on Tony. He was still in disbelief at how wrong his first impression of Tony was. Hotheaded, selfish, egotistical – ok, perhaps egotistical hadn’t been too far off the mark. But it was within reason – Tony was by and far one of the most brilliant men that Steve had ever met, and Steve had spent his fair share of time around scientists. It wasn’t just the brains either. For all that Tony liked to pretend he wasn’t a team player, Steve hadn’t met anyone so endlessly giving. Sure, there were the big things, like Tony willing to fly himself through a seemingly one-way portal just to save New York from a nuke. But it was the little things too. 

It was how Tony slowly maneuvered all the Avengers into living in the tower, ostensibly so Tony could “repair the damn tech you’re all so fond of destroying” easier, but Steve knew it was to keep an eye on them, to bring them closer as friends as well as colleagues. It was the time when Clint complained about the shitty quality of his hearing aids, and had awoken the next morning to a new pair by his bedside without a word from Tony, no note or anything. It was how sometimes Steve would walk into the kitchen at 8am and see a fresh pot of coffee and fruit laid out on the table, the only sign that Tony was there was a streak of oil on the cabinet next to the mugs.

What Steve had come to learn was that for all the showboating, when Tony Stark considered you one of his own he’d go to the ends of the earth to make you happy, and it wasn’t for the recognition or praise. Steve admittedly had spent perhaps too much time studying Tony, but he couldn’t help but be enraptured at just how much Tony had changed in the time he’d known them. The Tony he first met was guarded, cloaked in bitterness and cynicism, unwilling to let others in. Now, there was nothing that filled Steve with more warmth than hearing a genuine laugh escape Tony when Clint yet again had lost a bet to Natasha, or listening to Tony’s voice hitch with excitement when Steve asked him to explain the details of his latest project. 

Steve had taken to spending a lot of time in Tony’s lab, watching him work. For his part Tony didn’t seem to mind. It definitely threw him off at first, but when Steve explained that he just needed time to unwind somewhere that wasn’t his room, Tony shrugged and waved him towards the couch, warning him to watch out for DUM-E. Steve would pull out a sketchbook, and for a little while there was nothing in the lab but the rhythmic sound of metal on metal, and the way the world would fall away beneath Steve’s pencil. But then Steve would pause, in the moments when Tony was so absorbed in his work that he was sure he wouldn’t notice Steve staring. He’d watch as Tony flipped through holographic numbers and diagrams faster than Steve could track, mouth moving wordlessly as he pored over endless combinations, endless possibilities and designs. Tony moved through his lab with surprising grace – filled with a sense of fluidity and purpose that clung to his every fibre, even more so than when he piloted the suit. 

It was mesmerizing to watch, of course, but it didn’t hurt that Tony also usually liked to work in nothing but threadbare tanks and loose sweats. Steve would almost guiltily track the sinewy lines of muscle that corded through his arms, the hard lines of shoulder that gave way to defined back. Sweat that would gather at the nape of Tony’s neck, flop his hair down into his eyes and track lines across his cheek. And if Steve thought there wasn’t a better sight in the world than Tony, sleepy but brilliantly proud as he finally finished whatever he was working on – well, Steve would never have to tell. 

But then Tony had gone and gotten hit with magic and kissed Steve, and now he didn’t know what to do. They were going to have to talk about it, of course, and Steve didn’t know how he was going to handle the moment he’d have to laugh with Tony and say of course the kiss was no big deal, of course he knew they were just teammates, just friends. Of course it meant nothing to him too.

*

As it turned out, when Tony awakened he was far from laughing. He spent a few hours groaning, wandering aimlessly around the Tower.

“Dude, just get some Advil and water and stop moaning,” Clint said after Tony had loudly complained about his headache for the fifth time.

“I can’t, it’s magic, genius. Bruce, you have any ideas on how to speed up this recovery?”  
Bruce looked up from where he was sitting in an armchair, tablet in his lap. He shook his head remorsefully. “Sadly, no. As far as I can tell you just have to wait it out.”

Tony groaned again, letting his head fall against the tabletop.

A while later, once the pounding in Tony’s head had receded and he felt halfway normal, he padded towards Steve’s room, knocking softly on the open door and sticking his head into the room. 

“Hey winghead, you got time to talk?” He was smiling, but Steve could easily read the nervousness in his body. He set his sketchbook on his bedside table and motioned for Tony to come in.

“So, we should probably talk about the fact that I aggressively kissed you against your will –”

“It’s fine, Tony,” Steve cut in. He didn’t want to listen to any apologies Tony would have, it would only make it worse. The thought of Tony voicing his regret and discomfort made Steve’s stomach drop pre-emptively. “It didn’t mean anything, you were just under a spell. Don’t worry about it.” 

For a moment something flashed across Tony’s face, so fast and inscrutable Steve couldn’t think to put a name to it. But then his expression smoothed over, and he let out a dramatic sigh. 

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that that’s fine, but if it’s no big deal to you, I suppose we have bigger things to worry about.”

“Like the fact that every major news outlet currently has a picture of us kissing on its cover, and Fury’s about to blow a gasket over it?”

Tony breathed out hard through his nose. “Yeah, like that.”

“Look why don’t—” Steve began.

“I think we should date,” Tony cut in. At the look on Steve’s face he plowed through his next words, spoke so quickly it was almost like he had rehearsed.

“It’s just—well—I know that you came out as bisexual not too long ago, and there was that whole shitstorm to deal with – and really, you’d think people would have bigger issues than Captain America also liking guys, but that’s besides the point. People are just starting to come around to that, and then I had to go and cause this whole debacle, and I think if we try to play it off as nothing people are going to go back to questioning the legitimacy of your sexuality.” Tony scrubbed a hand over his face, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “And then there’s the fact that no one else this guy spelled actually went around kissing people – at least not publicly – so it’d probably seem weird that I acted that way. I’m used to the media talking about who I kiss, believe me, but I think the fallout from this could affect us both, and it’s not fair for me to take you down with me. I think the best way to deal with this is take the power back in our hands, and just… do this thing.”

“To date,” Steve said somewhat weakly, though he hoped it just came across as neutral and not horrified.

“Not actually!” Tony said, throwing his hands up a little. “Just… just put on a charade for a couple weeks or so, no more than a month and a half tops. Say that we had been keeping it on the down low because we didn’t want the press hounding us, but the adrenaline after a battle and all that got to us. Then when things have died down a little we just stop being seen together. If anyone questions it, we broke up and it was civil and we’re still great teammates and friends it just didn’t work out like that. I might get some backlash about ‘breaking Captain America’s heart’ or something, but it’s nothing I can’t deal with.”

Steve pursed his lips. “And you’re sure this is the best thing to do about it?”

Tony shrugged. “Like I said, it puts the control of the story back in our hands. As long as we just make it casual, it should go away fairly soon. After all,” he said, a half-smile on his face, “there’ve been rumors for months. How shocking can it really be?”

*

Very, was the answer apparently. As soon as the story broke, Tony’s phone blew up. Disconcertingly, all Rhodey had said was “Glad you got your head out of your ass,” as though that was supposed to make any sort of sense. 

Tony had been avoiding Pepper’s calls, but at long last he could delay the inevitable no longer, and picked up an incoming call with trepidation.

“Pep, Pepper, Peppy Potts, how lovely to hear from you –” 

“Don’t start, Tony. How come I just had to find out that you were dating Steve through _EW Online_?” 

“We didn’t mean to break the news this way Pep, it wasn’t a huge deal—“

“Wasn’t a huge deal?” Her voice went up an octave or two, before snapping back to it’s usual ‘dealing with Tony’s bullshit’ tone. “Is that why you decided to make out with him in public?”

Tony couldn’t help but wince. “I wouldn’t say make out per se…”

Steve was only half paying attention as Tony paced around the living room, attempting to calm her down. They had talked it out with Fury, and he called them crazy, but also said he couldn’t think of a better solution. They had decided that only the Avengers should know it was fake. Something twisted in Tony’s gut as he lied to Pepper and Rhodey, but it was agreed upon that the less people who knew the truth, the more likely they’d be able to pull this off and not make it a spectacle.

Steve looked up to watch Tony before staring back down at his hands, his gut churning. Tony looked visibly distressed and Steve? Well everyone could tell something was off. Tony assumed it was because he had dragged them into this whole mess, and that Steve was mad at him, which was true to some extent. But mostly Steve just wasn’t sure what to do with the emotions roiling in his gut. He couldn’t help but think about how Tony was so good at faking this, at how he’d almost fooled Steve. The other Avengers thought Steve wasn’t playing the part as well because of how mad he was, but in truth he just was afraid of falling into this a bit too well.

When they had finished talking to Fury and left SHIELD’s headquarters, there had been at least a dozen paparazzi waiting outside. They both had frozen for a moment before Tony melted into his natural self, a smile sliding easily onto his face. He slipped a hand into Steve’s, intertwining their fingers and began tugging him through the sea of reporters. Microphones and cameras were shoved in their faces with questions like “So how long has this really been going on?” and “Tell us about life at home!” and “Does this affect the dynamic of the Avengers?”

Tony had stopped just outside the car where Happy was waiting. He flashed a look at Steve that, if you didn’t know better, would seem to be filled with affection. Steve took into account the way his mouth was stretched too tight, and how he knew Tony’s most genuine smiles were actually soft, close-lipped ones. Then Tony turned back to face the reporters.

“We’re not taking any questions at this time. Just know that the good Captain and I are quite content.” With that he put a hand on Steve’s lower back and gently pushed him towards the car, following close behind. As soon as the doors were closed and they were driving away, Tony not so subtly scooted a few inches away from Steve, taking a deep breath.

“Sorry about this,” he had said, his eyes not quite meeting Steve’s. “Like I said, over in a few weeks.”

He had made it pretty clear that this whole setup was much more miserable than he had been expecting. So no one could fault Steve for maybe being a little more moody than usual, mood dropping even further as Tony waded his way through uncomfortable phone calls. At long last Tony hung up with Pepper, sighing at his phone.

“Got some bad news for you, winghead.” 

“What’s up?”

Tony grimaced. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other restlessly as he spoke. “We’re having a party—Pepper insists. Once she stopped yelling at me for keeping secrets,” he paused, a guilty smile flitting across his face. “Right, well once she got over that, she was ecstatic. She wishes us congratulations on, quote ‘getting our shit together and doing what everyone knew was bound to happen’. She also says thank you for helping her win a bet with Rhodey, which I did not want to clarify.” 

“And the bad news is…”

Tony lip twisted. “To celebrate us making this thing public, she wants to have a party.”

Steve’s head was swimming. A party would make this way more serious than it was supposed to be – the less attention they could draw to it, the easier it would be to all blow over. But the implication of Pepper’s words were beginning to hit him too – ‘bound to happen’? Pepper was one of the most level-headed people Steve knew, and she knew Tony better than perhaps anyone else. So for her to believe the lie, and even moreso for it to not be surprising… Steve wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“Is that really necessary?” he finally asked, voice croaking slightly.

Tony pulled another face. “Evidently. Sorry, I just couldn’t fight her on this. It was a miracle she didn’t really press further about the relationship itself. She said she’ll figure it all out, we just need to show up and be the ‘happy couple we are’.”

Steve could hear the quotation marks thick in Tony’s voice. He almost sounded bitter about it. Of course. Because Tony would never actually want to date Steve. That would be outrageous.

Steve sighed. “As long as I’m not in charge of it, fine.”

*

As it turned out, he rather wished he had been in charge of it. Or at least, part of the planning. Then maybe he would’ve been able to stop it from becoming so enormous.  
Pepper had rented out an entire ballroom, and invited just about everyone Steve and Tony collectively knew, and he was pretty sure some people they didn’t. Everything was extravagant – the decorations, the food, the band. Steve was overwhelmed. Even Tony thought so.

“Isn’t this a bit much?” he asked when they arrived, leaning forward to kiss Pepper on the cheek.

“A bit much? Not for your happiness it isn’t,” she said, smiling brightly. 

“More like good for my public image, and thus easier for you to argue with the board next time there’s a meeting,” Tony muttered, but he pulled up a smile all the same. 

Pepper patted him on the arm. “After all you’ve put me through, you can survive this. Besides, how hard can it be to celebrate something actually good in your life, for once?”

Steve was a bit suspicious of just how supportive she was being. Part of him suspected that she knew they’d be uncomfortable with all the attention, and did this to get back at Tony for keeping her out of the loop. Though whether she knew the whole relationship was a lie, he rather doubted.

He and Tony had walked around the room, shaking hands with people and making sure to laugh often and smile wide. Tony’s hands were constantly touching him – a brush of their fingers here, a hand on the waist there. Even when he was occupied, Tony made sure to stand close enough to Steve that he could feel their shared body heat in the nonexistent space between them. It was making Steve sweat.

Just as Tony was laughing at some poor joke from an investor in Stark Industries, Steve placed a hand on his forearm, and smiled apologizingly at the woman.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to borrow my boyfriend for a moment.” The woman just waved them on in good nature, already turning to a fellow guest to gossip. Steve was almost surprised at how fluidly he was able to say the word ‘boyfriend’ in relation to Tony now.

He put his lips to Tony’s ear, a smile still on his face, but his tone dark. “If I have to shake one more hand or listen to one more person’s congratulations, I’m going to lose it.”

Tony let out a snort, patting him on the back. “Nobody says we can’t take a break.” He reached out and snagged two champagne flutes from a passing waiter, giving one to Steve. They wandered over to a less occupied corner, near some unused tables in the back. Most other people were over on the expansive dance floor, or by the front of the room where the bar was.

“This is ridiculous,” Steve said, hand coming up to tug at his collar before thinking better of it and letting it fall to his side.

Tony looked sidelong at Steve, tilting his head in Steve’s direction. “Oh come on,” he said, tone amused but eyes tight. “You should be enjoying this. After all, it’s a party in honor of your loving relationship.”

“Yours too,” Steve muttered darkly, finishing off the champagne in one swig. It wouldn’t do anything to him, of course, but he appreciated the way it left a warm trail of bubbles down to his stomach. It somehow made him feel a bit lighter, a little less like his world was crashing down around his ears.

Tony hummed beside him, taking a few small sips. He put the flute down on the table before turning to Steve.

“I am really sorry about all this. I had no idea how over the top Pepper would be.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said shortly, because what else could he say.

“It’s really not though.” Tony was trying to do that thing Steve had noticed where he made everything sound offhand, which was when he meant it the most. 

“I mean,” Tony continued, “I’m used to the spotlight and the whirlwhind of relationships, but it really wasn’t fair for me to drag you into this, and –”

“Tony, I said it’s fine!” Steve snapped. “Stop apologizing, I get it.”

Tony recoiled slightly. “Alright there, Cap?”

Steve grit his teeth, not wanting to say anything. But suddenly he found himself losing control of the anger, frustration, and hurt that had been bubbling to the surface, and with no one nearby to keep him in check, he couldn’t help himself.

“Oh yeah, sure I’m alright. I love having to reassure you that it’s fine, that I know the idea of actually being with me is so repulsive it makes you wince, but it’s okay. I love watching you fake being happy with me and switching to this dejected, broken person the moment any cameras are away. You know, it’s absolutely great!” Steve doesn’t know when Tony’s face got so close to his, but he was too far gone to care.

“And what’s even better? The fact that the only reason this started at all is because a magically-induced drunk you had some weird fascination with my face. Not because you care about me at all, but just because some spell decided to make me look pretty to you. Never mind the fact that I’ve been dreaming about kissing you for months, that all I wanted to do was take you on an actual date, but that was a nice thing to shut down once I saw your horrified face the day after you kissed me. And what’s more— mmph!”

Steve has to stop, because he was still talking but suddenly there’s something in the way of his mouth. Specifically, Tony’s mouth. Tony’s kissing him, over and over, just little soft kisses he presses to Steve’s lips.

“You,” he breathes, presses another kiss in, “are an absolute idiot.”

“I’m… excuse me?”

Tony reels back a little bit, enough to really look Steve in the eyes. He brings a hand up to cup the side of Steve’s face.

“Steven Rogers, I may have only told you that your face was beautiful because some sorcerer spelled me, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking it every day for the past who knows how long. God, when I first met you, you were infuriating. Your self-righteousness, your patriotism, your inability to take a joke – I hated it.” 

“Thanks, Tony,” Steve says drily, but his lips are beginning to curve upwards and hope is beginning to curl in his chest.

Tony frowns, face serious. “I’m not done. But then, as it turns out, you are a fantastic leader, and an even funnier person when you let yourself be. You came into the tower and somehow on the days when it felt like my life was falling to pieces, you were there to bring me back together. You made us grow as a team, and you inspire us, you make us all better just by being this—”. Tony stops, breathes loudly. He doesn’t seem to be able to finish his sentence, but whatever it is he was going to call Steve, it makes him do that soft smile that Steve absolutely melts for. When he speaks again, his voice is hushed, breath brushing against Steve’s lips.

“And then you were in my lab all the time, watching me work or just sketching, and somehow you just fit yourself right into a niche I didn’t know I had left open. So when I called your face beautiful, that wasn’t something I did because of magic. And the only unusual thing about me kissing you is honestly that I hadn’t done it sooner.”

Steve can’t think of a reply to that, so instead he closes the minuscule space between them and kisses Tony for all he’s worth. This time, it’s nothing like it was in the burger joint. There’s none of the sloppiness, or the sense of urgency that was present before. It’s just Tony’s soft, pliant mouth against his, it’s the warmth of Tony’s hip beneath Steve’s hand when he reaches out to grab him and pull him closer, it’s the sigh Tony lets out when Steve tilts his head a little, parting his lips.

Tony draws back before the kiss can go much further, a half smile on his face. His eyes are shining and he’s looking at Steve like he’s the best goddamn thing in the world. Steve’s pretty sure his face looks the same.

“What do you say we ditch this thing and go enjoy ourselves? I happen to know there is an excellent private bathroom in a nearby hallway.”

“Now really, you’re going to try to get in my pants before you’ve even taken me out to dinner?” Steve tries to give Tony a reprimanding look and fails, a goofy grin on his face.

Tony waves a hand towards the general area. “I rented a ballroom for you.”

“Technically, Pepper did.”

“My money, same thing,” he shrugs.

Steve hesitates for half a moment before threading his fingers through Tony’s. “Well then let’s go.”

Tony’s grin is absolutely wicked as he tugs on Steve insistently, rushing them out of the room before anyone can stop them.

When they’re in the bathroom and Tony is tugging on his tie, drawing Steve impossibly closer, Steve stops a moment before his lips meet Tony’s.

“You’re still going to owe me dinner you know.”

“Steve, I’ll buy you all the restaurants in Brooklyn if you just take your shirt of right now.”

Steve laughs but complies, shedding his suit jacket and shirt quickly. When Tony goes to do the same Steve stops him, wanting to do it himself. Where he was rushed before, he now takes his time, slowly sliding Tony’s arms out of the sleeves and dropping his jacket to the floor. He unbuttons Tony’s shirt slowly, fingers gently grazing over the arc reactor. When Tony notices his stare lingering, he begins to shift.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Steve says, voice soft and full of awe. “You’re just… beautiful.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr @nebularity and around a few of the SteveTony discords! Please feel free to come say hi.


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